By Julius Bokoru
The Bayelsa State Government has announced that it is acquiring a 25 billion naira plane to bolster the state’s aviation potentials.
A lot of nay-sayers have their shiny swords out, braying for Blood and demanding that heads must roll. Nothing can be more unpatriotic or unthinking. The no-good civil soceity group, The Bayelsa Coalition for Accountability And Good Governance hurled itself into the ring and declared the state government’s very bright idea ‘ as an act of financial recklessness and a blatant case of fraud, given the state’s mounting debt profile’
Well, this writer does not subscribe to that, nor does he subscribe to the myriads of groups and stakeholders tearing critical lenses into this most interesting idea of Nigeria’s third richest state from the bottom owning an aircraft.
Some have even gone forward to reminisce on the failed Seaplane project of 2018, which was ebulliently launched by former governor Seriake Dickso, a move that was intended to aid transportation especially for Bayelsans traveling to Lagos, Calabar and other port cities. That great idea, just like Diri’s, generated enormous anger across the state and beyond from parochail minds and cynics always wanting governments to fail. Well, in defense again, I’d say, Dickson is not Diri, 2018 is not 2024 and although, I must concede, both leaders made their plans at times of huge debt and sweeping poverty, a seaplane is still different from an aeroplane. Please, chill. Chill.
Except one is just overly bigoted, with the following points of mine I must convince (and not confuse) you *winks* that the incoming aircraft is the absolute good for Bayelsa State.
1. MONIES WILL BE SAVED; Now we are all aware Gov. Diri and his hard working entourage must constantly, monthly, travel abroad, beyond the vistas of our shores to seek development and superior ideas. So instead of, say, AirFrance, Ethiopian airlines, Fly Emirates and the rest gaping into our commonwealth in the guise of airfare we now have a state carrier that can pad those noble and inevitable losses. Those monies come to us, remain with us and cost of governance, especially and the many, many critically importantforeignand local trips, is cut. If Diri didn’t have itchy feet or he wasn’t a manic globetrotter (Note it’s in our interest he’s a governor in absentia, hunting for opportunities) this idea may not have been logical. He travels far and wide looking for treasures for our very dear state and I believe, as any patriotic Bayelsan should, that the incoming skyliner (I do hope it’s a Boeing, i love Boings) is apt.
2. MORE MONIES IN OUR COFFERS: Some negative souls would say we don’t have much aviation potential yet, that people are broke and don’t fly yen, yen, yen. Bulshit. Once Bayelsans start seeing more planes they must dig into whatever savings they have to fly. We can also get more national patronage too and the monopoly of United Nigeria will be handled once and for all. I heard someone asking why Ibom Airline project didn’t thrive in the state if not lack of sufficient patronage. I have the answer, Ibom Air failed in Bayelsa because their planes had orange colored inscriptions, and we all know Bayelsans don’t like the colour orange. It was never about patronage. We will make more monies with a state carrier. Akwa Ibom is making trillions, aren’t they?
3. WE CAN BORROW MORE AS A STATE: You know all governments borrow to survive, even the United States government. Money lenders usually seek for state assets and worthy collaterals before issuing out sweet, juicy loans. There aren’t many assets more comforting to our lending saviors than a brand new, or, perhaps, fairly used aircraft. This is a commendable move in improving our credit worthiness. Even those we are owing billions of naira already will start having good night sleeps. Diri indeed is a genius.
4. WE CAN HAVE LIGHT, FINALLY: Bayelsans have complained of the steady absence of power for months and with the state governments announcement of more transmission lines collapse even before the old ruines are fixed, the darkness in Yenagoa may have no end in sight. But this plane is a good news. Although fixing our turbines would have been cheaper than this aircraft, but here’s the cheering news, you know planes have lights below them, when it flies into Bayelsa airspace at night, the lights below the aircraft will shine and illuminate our capital into being the true Glory of all Lands. The pilot may decide putting on the rear and forward lights on even after landing at Amassoma, and you know how far a plane’s light travels. So we have an aircraft and light too. Talk about killing multiple birds with one stone.
5. AESTHETIC BRILLIANCE: As Bayelsans we must grow beyond imagining only the Nigerian Content Development and Monitoring Board’s beautiful edifice as our only image of pride. Just think for a second about a sleak, sexy beauty of a plane either revving her engines or sitting desolately at the tarmac. Muah! I’d just go and kiss it. What a beauty, what a sight. This is a legit way of beautifying the state. Sure deal.
6. WATER PROBLEM SOLVED: scientists have proven that the speed of jet acts as a water purifier especially during rains. Are you thinking what I am thinking? It means our water crises will finally be over. All we have to do is bring out our drums, pots and plastic whenever it’s raining ( and it rains alot) and whenever our beautiful new baby is flying over head and it certainly would fly everyday. So this new aircraft guarantees us clean water supply everyday after the planes sonic speed must have purified the rains above just before they reach us. Smart idea.
7. SOLVE THE ROAD CRISES: This is simple nah. With a new aircraft who needs to move by road anymore. Is it not like that in Europe and America? All our aged ones in Ezetu, Foropa, Sangana, Onuebum, Odi, Egbedi etc would just be flying around with our new acquisition.
8. MITIGATE HOUSING AND ACCOMDATION CRISES: You all know how roomy a passenger plane can be. At nights, close to bedtime when the plane must have run its course for the day, we could get all our homeless and poorly accommodated people to pass the night there. No need for any housing scheme. This aircraft covers that.
EMPLOYMENT: A new aircraft means more employment for our people. More pilots, more aeronautic engineers, more flight attendants, more stewards, more cooks, more cleaners, more booking agents etc. We can safely say this plane will pull us off the humiliating status we are placed by the NBS in terms of unemployment. Fantastic.
FIGHT OIL THEFT AND ENVIRONMENTAL POLLUTION: With more planes on the sky, more passengers especially those on the aisle seat can look down leisurely and spot an ongoing crimininality. A phone call to the authorities and an apt location, boom! A syndicate is busted.
We must not place everything on the alter of politics. Our 25 billion naira aircraft must come and Bayelsa must also get the much needed developments that naturally accompanies the acquisition of planes, seaplanes, submarines, trawlers, Jet fighters, helicopters and spaceships.
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